Yesterday I attended a small gathering and I was inspired to hear a man I hadn’t met before speak authentically from his heart; he expressed a vulnerability he was currently experiencing. He spoke with complete candor, unabashedly, with the genuineness of an innocent child. I was touched; I felt drawn to him. Connection–simple, real, genuine–and I thought to myself, how utterly lovely that he is able to speak so freely without any worry or even the slightest concern about being judged by those who heard what he had to say. As he spoke, he put his hand on the center of his chest and gently rubbed it in a circular, soothing motion; this gesture of kindness for himself touched my heart; it made me sigh.
I hoped I might get the chance to speak privately with him and express my gratitude for his courage to be so open but the opportunity did not arise. Someone else reached him before I did and he willingly allowed himself to be taken hostage by her for some time, listening raptly to the mountains of advice she heaped upon him–advice he did not ask for but eagerly absorbed, almost as if he was awed by some mysterious ancient, ethereal wisdom he assumed she possessed.
Actually, I watched their interaction with fascination; it was like a choreographed duet: her pontificating, him silently nodding and acquiescing like a puppy eager to learn at the foot of its master. What was so interesting to me was the role they each assumed: her–the mystical sage, him–the earnest pupil. She seemed to be speaking from her heart as she instructed him, never realizing for a moment that the advice she was flooding him with was really advice her own heart needed to hear–but most definitely not his. The more she counseled him, the more he distanced himself from his own truth and authenticity. As I observed and listened to their dynamic, I thought, how very unfortunate that rather than honor him for being so beautifully in touch with his internal truth when he had spoken earlier, instead, she, by assuming the role of the all-knowing guide, pulled him away from himself and weakened the connection he had earlier established to his inner core. She even discouraged him from tenderly rubbing that spot on his chest and ascribed to it a negative connotation.
This sort of well-meaning interaction tends to be quite typical with respect to conventional counseling and one of its inherent weaknesses is that it flows out of the beta brain wave where analysis, judgment, and criticism abide. In this case, although the woman may have been coming from a place of loving intention and caring, the affect her suggestions had on this man to some degree lessened his power because it caused him to stray from his own truth while seeking to learn from hers.
With Theta Healing, exactly the opposite occurs. It is the theta brain waves that engender healing precisely because judgment, analysis, and other evaluative left brain functions do not occur there. Instead, Theta Healing promotes connection, acceptance, forgiveness, tolerance and all the essential elements of unity with one’s self and others. Theta Healing is affirmative, assisting one to delve deeper within to discover more truth of the open heart and spirit. Theta Healing honors personal discovery and revelation.
What I would have liked to say to that man was that I heard and valued his experience, that it resonated with me and even inspired me. I would have liked to tell him that when he tenderly rubbed his own chest, I saw it as a loving gesture of self acceptance and it gave me joy to see him do it.